Farouk Martins Aresa

The few worst Nigerians by nature are not suicide candidates for money they cannot spend or male/female companies they cannot enjoy on earth. If anything they are conspicuous spenders and other Africans know that much. Indeed, international crime watchers know these Nigerians shy away from violent crimes that forsake cashistic on earth. A clear evidence of that was a man paid to drive a truck loaded with explosive into a building in Abuja. He wisely put a stone on the accelerator to burn with the truck so that he could enjoy his life with the money he was paid.

History is full of instance where religions have been introduced as anesthetic to people’s brain so that they cannot use their minds. Anyone that questions slavery, wars, division of labor by ordained class, caste, right to subjugate others, inherent privilege and domination by land and resources has challenged the will of God and will be punished by the devil. If you obey and do as you are told, your reward in heaven is immensely abundant in ecstasy. If it is not a fair world, you are reminded that here is a temporary abode, our permanent home is heavenly bliss.

Where we find ourselves these days in terms of religion of mass destruction is not by accident. The preachers of doom and reincarnations of the devils like tin gods are consequences of lack of confidence in our own abilities as followers. In order to be seen and accepted as worldly and heavenly versed, we impersonate others religions without any control of where it leads us. We abandon ours that we understand and revere because Africans can swear in Mosque or Church without hesitating; but take him to Oshogbo or Okija shrines, you would notice the fear of God.

This is what we need to know to understand how a respectable preacher of faith in some of these foreign religions can stoop so low preaching war, annihilation and the destruction of one another in the name of God or Allah. If you cannot believe that a man of God can steal you blind while he lives in luxury, accommodate looters in the front row of his church or mosque and pray for suicide bombers, armed gangs and robbers before they leave for mayhem; now you know he only fears the God of Thunder and not foreign religions.  

So when you see an African killing a fellow African in the name of some foreign religion, he has a motive beyond loyalty to that religion. He wants you under his spell so that he could dictate to you the way his master dictated and consumed his mind. If he has been conquered by one of these foreign religions, that is the way he his trained by heart to conquer his fellow Africans for them. It is by remote control operated from outside our Continent. But no African can control others the way we are used to maim our bodies, steal our minds and resources out of Africa.

When we talk about God and devil, the only fear is the wrath of man that wants to be held in awe capable of unleashing famine and pestilence in anger for daring to question his authority. If God is for peace, fear no evil from him but be wary of the devils that usurp his power religiously all over the world to cause mayhem. Indeed, if we are saved from the religious wars by jihadists and “crusaders” quoting from these books, the world may be a better place.

Nevertheless, without God, people are intentionally wicked because they fear no repercussion for abusing their fellow men. So benevolent people have created God in every culture to warn erring creatures of his wrath if they stray and jail or ostracize those that must be punished for their sins against humanity. The process from heavenly bliss to hell differ from one culture to another but as the world becomes smaller and some domineering religion take over smaller ones, heaven and hell are becoming universally accepted.

Out of all the continents, only Africa has predominantly accepted religions that are not indigenous to Africans as the rule of worship while Christian, Muslim, Indus, Jew and Buddhism remain the principal religion of their areas. The only exception is the Africans Santeria in Diaspora. This is very important in the analysis of human behavior that calls for adherence to our culture only in the face of adversity. The same is true about African food outside Africa. Do all Africans have to be deprived to appreciate our God given blessings?

Just for the sake of those unfamiliar with Santeria. These are Africans free men and women before Columbus and slaves after Columbus that still refuse to allow their religion to die. Even in the face of punishment to adopt the religion of other continents, these Africans used symbols of Christianity to deceive their captors while actually praying to Sango, Oya, Oduduwa, Ogun or Orisha. When the Africans at home and those in Diaspora meet, we can guess who are more surprised at which religion the others are practicing.

The idea of one and only universal religion can never work because there is too much at stake for those in control of others destiny and are bent to impose on them. When it gets to the point of either you lose your life or the Bible, Koran and Torah; religion has lost its meaning. Religion is supposed to culture us, allow us to live in peace and harmony with the fear of God. No matter where you are and who are, God can hear you in your language not just in Latin or Arabic. 

This is how we lose focus and wrap religion around us the way others wrap the flag around themselves to justify whatever their wish. Exploitation of man by man will always go on and will be justified by whatever it takes, and if that is religion, so be it. Nobody is closer to God than your fellow man and the way you treat him or her show how close you are to God. So pass on an act of kindness.

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Farouk Martins Aresa

Nigeria is not a pet. If you love it, let it breath, do not smother it to death. We express our love of the Country in different ways. If it was not a durable Country, so called patriots that cannot do without its oil earnings, could have snuffed the daylight out of it. These “patriots” claim they are ready to die for Nigeria by bleeding the Country to death. Indeed, a few of them confess their surprise that Nigeria is still standing. It takes only some ants stinging a lion, the king of animals, from all sides to lay it to rest and die.

The truth is the stingers of Nigeria want to kill the Country because they have no intention for it to survive. So whenever they are in any position to grab, they loot the hell out of it. They have abandoned their stake in the Country. As long as Nigeria is still standing, they will come back for more until they see the end of it as a country. In disguise, they claim they will not let Nigeria disintegrate, but only until they have had their fill.  Whenever they are challenged, like an old woman in Igbo proverb, they feel uneasy whenever bones are mentioned. These looters display their uneasiness by stifling their opponents. Their way or no way, love Nigeria tender, please.

We have to sort out the real patriots in a country. There is a difference between those who are resigned to their faith because they have no where they can run to or accept them, so they stay and fight on. Unlike those of us who run in and out when it gets too hot in the kitchen. It is not a choice for many but a destiny. If we steal enough money to live outside coffers, vacation out of deep pockets, get medical check-ups and treatment outside that purse and send children out of our home without language or culture to identify with us; we can hardly claim to be patriots.

We have heard about bastards that sent thugs to go and rob their fathers never expecting that they would kill him. These thugs intend to kill Nigeria, disregard the lofty sacrifice they claimed they made so that Nigeria can survive, just as long as there is oil money to loot. It is the lice that suck the dog to death not realizing their own death wish, says a Yoruba proverb.

They fleece both government and workers by not paying salary to encourage bribes. Businesses followed their lead. It was an introduction of bribes for survival into our already stressed polity.  The habit of collecting payment on contracts they never perform has gone into their blood so when they go into business, the workers get paid last or never get paid at all. It used to be that a prudent businessman that took the risk gets paid last by making sacrifice for later profit.

There are some of those destined to survive inside the Country by hook or crook while others still play by the rules. Those that have decided to be criminals prey on the wrong set of people that are law abiding and are too proud to be outlaws. They are victimized in their homes and on the streets. In most cases, they are defenseless with no deterrents against criminals. Their lives are taken for granted and they die undeservedly. Most of the criminals dare not face their exploiters. Instead of facing the oppressors, they worship them as thugs and body guards. 

There are also two types of complainants. Those that criticize because they are excluded from the pot and cannot get their hands in. As soon as they are invited to looters’ club, the country is fine. There are also sincere critics who care about the future of their children and the country wondering what the next generation will be after they are gone. They desire no gratuity, favor or payback but a civilized community in their time and a bright future for our children and the unborn. The plight of the country is their constant obsession until progress is made.

All Africans, not only Swahili proverb know that it takes a village to raise a child. You are either for Africa or against us and if you are a party that contributes to the demise of any country in the Continent, you can call yourself an African but we know you as a Judas. If Nigeria breaks, there is no African Country big enough to take all of us. If we can just reflect on the massive looting, local and external debts with sheer indifference to the plight of our fellow men, there is nothing left for our children. A country that does not think about its children, lacks a future. Believe it or not, these vultures realize that and they just don’t care.

We have no sense of urgency in Africa to provide basic needs that will benefit everyone, no matter what your station is in life. The rich and the poor do eat, buy and ply the same road to and from their different activities in life. The sight of poverty, shacks and debilitated housing are revolting to the sight and also painful for those forced to use them. What we do is turn our minds away from those unpalatable structures that may offend us. Some of us have developed attitudes of “better them than me”.

It is not a disease common to Africans alone. Many of those we hold in high esteem also share this selfish notion that if the country collapses it will not fall on them because they have golden parachutes to greener pasture. That is why they will crave for allowances, benefits, exceptions or tax cuts they know the country cannot afford even if these estacodes come out of allowance of the poor: food, schools of children, pension of the old or the tolls contribution for old roads.

Survival of the fittest instinct from the jungle days of animals is entrenched in some people all around the globe and it is demonstrated in different form. In our part of the world, we wonder how those who claim they believe in the unity of the Country are willing to see the same people on their knees begging for basic needs. Some have displayed their disgust for our unity by massive stealing begetting militants that have usurped the good cause of the dispossessed.  

We are not that helpless. We must take on the bulls by the horn by throwing ordinary sands to disrupt their weddings and other ceremonies making it hard to celebrate their accumulations. We have to raise their blood pressure, track, and expose them overseas. Conspicuous spending and greed drives them. Those motives must be blocked to cut down on pillaging of resources.

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Farouk Martins Aresa

Only if men of “timber and caliber”, presidents, kings, chiefs and hard working Dele would think both ways before crossing into a different continent to mentor a young lady and not let their joy sticks get into their heads. Mature men sexual desire has tumbled thrones, careers, dwarfed accomplishments and turned some homeless just with a flip of the skirt by a young flirt. Given a second chance to do it all over again, mentoring or friendship not sex, would be the only focus. 

Sex itself is a natural behavior that we share with people we feel certain magnetic force of attraction to or an infatuation. In the spices of life, we may wonder if there is a relationship worth its salt that does not involve money or sex. However, most people will admit that at some point friendship was great between two people until they started sexual relationship. People could confide in each other freely before they started the sex thing.

The expectation created as a result of sexual relationship has consequences that demands time and money. If sex and money is left out, a relationship can grow forever because expectation is reduced to other form of psychological dependency that does not involve exerting energy that can be traded but may be emotional nonetheless. We sometimes want our friend to ourselves and less time with others even when there is no sexual or monetary reward.

When we talk about dislocation of relationships between older men and young women or cougars and young men it is always about sexual desires on the part of the older and the sniff of money prospects by the younger. There used to be noble men that went to villages to bring a little girl, send her to school and wait. So, we may have destroyed many happy relationships by placing too much emphasis on immediate sexual gratification when we should be mentors.

On the other hand, there are those cases where ladies have packed their belongings and vamoosed into helping hands because their husbands neglected to perform his most important duty. No, it does not depend on the post-puberty age if told she had been married to a family whose house she would have moved to. The better situation could be for the girl if too young to stay with the man’s relatives to avoid any temptations, until she was ready to be a woman. In other words, couples do not have to jump into bed immediately. But some men prefer to see the woman pregnant before they even tie the knot in case she could have difficulty later.

Yet, there are relationships out there between men and women that do not involve sex, a few of which is traditional or to disguise sexual orientations. A case in point: this “man” who got married to a young woman with children that lost her husband. She found out when “he” died that “he” was really a woman. There are also marriages with kept secrets that never had sexual tones. We need to explore the reasons most of the secrets in these asexual relationships last longer, so that we can learn more about the cost or burden of sexual relationships at any age.

If quality attention is all we can afford to spend in most relationships with loved ones, we may devote a longer time to one another without a break. It is what we do with our friends of many years but as sex and money creep in, we risk losing it. Ideally, our best friends should be our love mates so that we can last into the golden age when all the sex and money are immaterial at that point in our life. In some cases we wish our best friends, that we never have sex with or expect monetary reward or exchange from, were our spouses. Some girls prefer father figures.

The fear is always there that at some point the relationship would turn sexual. Police and Army had to come to terms with this when they started pairing male and female officers. The fear amongst police spouses was that if they never spent so much time with their spouses, nobody should. Since the fear has been overcome in the work environment, the Police and Army could not be exceptions. The price is the explosion of sexual harassment against older men superiors.

Can any woman and man enjoy platonic relationship without their spouse getting jealous? It gets a little more complicated when relationships are between male and female without sex, money, but commitment to others. Men and women are expected to spend most of their money in their families. The more time we spend out there, the less time for the families and the greater are the chances to stray away into the hands of others. If money and time are spent on others at the expense of those we have at home, that would be cheating.   

After all, we also expect reciprocal attention in asexual relations too. Otherwise, we expect to be paid in loyalty, cash or kind in return for the time spent listening, advising and encouraging others. Our parents do it for free expecting and hoping we turn out better in return, our African elders do it for free expecting same but counselors or psychiatrists expect to get paid for her time and attention. Unfortunately, some counselors have gone beyond their duty developing forbidden sexual attachments with their clients.

Men and women do befriend the same sex members confiding in them or telling them stories they would never share with opposite sex or their husband and wives. There are jokes at men’s bar or women’s spa that will always remain within the same sex. Indeed, those same words may be crude if uttered in the presence of opposite sex. The same type of words may be proper if they do not cross into vulgar or sexual daring of opposite sex they meet at the clubs or work.

Usually, time spent on others is enjoyed like those spent in bars with other men. The same is true of women. During this period, we spend time and money because we enjoy what we are doing. The golf clubs may not have women members but the wheeling and dealing may lead to contacts for better careers, prospects and other friendships that take time and money away from home. It becomes a debate whether Tigers and Cougars spend more at some gatherings to attract business contacts in order to bring money home or to attract younger males/females.

We cannot ignore or spend less time in our relationship and claim those spent outside have no sexual or monetary value. Some men are known for spending more money at clubs on food and drinks but less at home to feed their families. Others are known to be stingy with their friends but would spend generously like a drunken sailor whenever young ladies appear at the table.

Indeed, we can apply some of our platonic friendship to our sexual relationship at any age.

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By Farouk Martins Aresa

Once upon a time, your grandmother had 5 children: Dele, Chinwe, Musa, Ita, Dafe and Dimka. Your great uncle Dele and Aunty Chinwe went to Europe and America to study, but got married and came home only briefly on holidays and when their father died. Oh yes, they had beautiful children but they never came home since they got married. Please don’t ask me about that branch of the family because your great uncle and aunty were buried in Europe and America.

No matter how home based Nigerians want to belittle or twist Diaspora help back home, the amount of money poured in through working and lower class at home from abroad contributed immensely to the economy. Hard earned money were sent through legal means, some through friends and more in goods and services that benefited many in Nigeria. Unfortunately, once this generation of Nigerians abroad passed away, their children would not render the same help which their parents considered their duty. So there is great need for permanence.  

If we are concern about our legacies not to become a lost generation in a family tree, we need to invest our seeds; that second house, the second or third car and in case the first marriage fails, the second must be grounded in Nigeria. We all pray for a lasting relationship but one spouse cannot hold us back. At least one spouse must be our incentive to go back. It used to be the exclusive realm of men to make sure their second wife was in Nigeria. Wow! Some smart women are going back home to marry men and make sure the men stay in Nigeria. Why?

Well, for the same reasons men are doing it. In the case of women, it may not be by design. It takes a while to get a visa and by the time the men finally cross over, the women have invested so much in the men, with a promising career or they might have established a business that made the hustle and bustle overseas less productive. The same is true about men if they have an ambitious wife who can resist glamour abroad and turn the money sent to them into gold.

Of course everyone wants to be with their spouse and children but a temporary absence to prepare for a longer stay together can be rewarding. Trust is hard to come by these days but there is no cheating a man or a woman can do abroad that they cannot do at home. Actually, Africa is more conducive to a healthy marriage than overseas where almost fifty percent of marriages amongst blacks end up in divorce.

There were Nigerians working in gold and coal mines for months before they go back home to see their families as in South Africa, Europe and America. In this case we are talking about ways Nigerians can establish at home before they become lost generation. The reasoning for those who work half a year abroad and come home is that the money made go further at home than it does abroad. It all depends on lifestyle and cutting our coat to our size. What good is our dead bodies sent home when investment in our families and people speak louder or longer?

It started long ago with some friends spending half a year abroad and half in Nigeria. But these are men, some of whom prefer casual jobs overseas like contracts or cab driving. Hard times have become silver linings. The incursion of women into this exclusive club surprised many of us. A friend in America was introduced to a lady in England both of who were single for a long time. She insisted on going back home where she was establishing a business.

Another lady went home, got married and became pregnant but the husband decided to stay behind in Nigeria or she decided to let him establish in Nigeria. She came back holding her head high like a snub. Even when their husbands joined them abroad, they prefer to return home to their jobs or business. Our general notion, at least amongst men is that it does not pay women to go back home as they prefer to stay abroad where they are better protected from the arrogance of power displayed by men at home. Wrong again?

It has certainly hit Diaspora Nigerians that former Diaspora Nigerians who went back home for reason beyond their control are hired to give those still abroad a bad name. They call them chickens who are so comfortable in indignity they suffer abroad despite their accomplishment, that they are not viable and so too soft to survive at home. This cannot be easily dismissed as envy when in fact many go home displaying success that is not invested on long term basis.

This envy or rivalry between home based Nigerians and those in Diaspora may be dismissed as storm in a tea cup, but black people have a long history of alienating one another. This is how envy in West Indians and Africans of England and Canada or between African American and Africans in USA started. It usually comes from a rumor generated by “bad belly” between Jamaican woman and Nigerian man who always marry one another more than any West Indian of African until personal problems were bloated to all Africans; or between African American and African who forsake them into slavery.

O.k. It may have some substance that may not be related to why we pull one another down but extending it to home based and Diaspora Nigerians must be quickly nipped in the bud before it grows wings into another generation. The losers here are the average Nigerians, majority of who cannot enjoy in the land of plenty while a few minority with hired guns monopolized all the milk and honey bestowed on our Country. Their children and cronies are everywhere trying to cause trouble between us for their selfish ends.  

Cooler heads between home based and Diaspora Nigerians must prevail, we are too close in the family tree to be at one another’s throat. Diaspora Nigerians must restrain ostentatious display of wealth, toys and mirrors acquired abroad. Otherwise they may be tempting some rascals to kidnap them for money they can never come up with.

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By Farouk Martins Aresa

There is no point fooling ourselves about some greedy access to Nigeria’s Treasury, since many without contact are waiting in the corridor for their turns to loot our assets to ashes. This war against Nigeria is longer and more deadly than the Biafra war. Yet these few Nigerians from a tiny part of our populace are our kin and friends. They are so powerful; nobody has been able to stop them thus far. Their worst punishment is a couple of years in prison hotels. Helplessly, we watch more of our children in the North and the South scavenge toxic dump to eke a living.

Give many Nigerians the choice of either a couple of years in prison hospitals as billionaires like Bode George, less years like Tafa Balogun or none like Andy Uba and Tony Anenih or die slowly of hunger, they would go to prison. If some Nigerians had a choice between crossing the desert pregnant, ending up in foreign prisons or a couple of years in Nigerian prison inns with billions waiting for them, they would chose Nigerian prisons. Indeed, soldiers would rather die gallantly fast by the hail of bullets in a war than die sluggishly of 1-0-0, 0-1-0, or 0-0-1 hunger in our land!

Nigerians have fought a civil war before, but not this type of deprivation that is invisible and undefined lacking concerted strategy to attack and cut its head off. It is almost a one sided battle as these general of looters conquer every institution in the Country like the spoil of war with impunity and little resistance because they are our kin and friends.  Since a few of our kin and friends have declared war of deprivation on us, we don’t need invading army as enemies.

During the Biafran war, we had generals on both sides fighting for a conviction, a cause or oil against formidable opponent. In the war against corruption, Nigerians are no match for these political generals.  All the training at Royal Military Academy and National Institute of Policy and Strategy Studies only taught us how to overwhelm our people not create surplus and conquer hunger. Instead, they are killing women and children with one of those weapons of war- hunger. After all, they claimed they only loot millions in US dollars compared to these new billionaires.   

Anyone who can hijack salaries can kill us slowly. You can see and quantify atrocities of war but our war of corruption is insidious. You have to do an analysis and prove intellectual correlation to corroborate evidence for the adherent of due process to convict. Even then, cronies would argue about it and compare it with their own paid research. By the time we finally agree on the culprits, the house has burnt to the ground and lives lost. Nigeria would be gone. Watch how angry supporters of convict, Bode George who had sued for libel, reacted at the court house.

If Chairman of Revenue Mobilization Allocation and Fiscal Commission, Hamman Tukur, had it right that we are speeding recklessly to destruction, as if we and the looters don’t know that, no more Country would be left to manage. Some parts of Nigeria will merge with Niger, some with Benin Republic and the rest, maybe with Cameroon. A movie of Nigerians in Nollywood  carrying bowls to tiny West African countries asking for jara, may wake us up, or make us revolt.

So who will save us from ourselves but us? Every reasonable voice from the time of Awolowo’s dire warning of the consequences of our profligacy to that of a late convert, the new prophet of doom in charge of politicians excessive salary, Chairman of MAFC, always fall by the wayside.

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